The Man I Was

I don't teach family restoration from theory. I teach it from testimony.

Before I knew Christ, my life was broken. I had failed at marriage. I had made choices that dishonored God and hurt the people I loved. I was lost, living according to the flesh, with no understanding of covenant or biblical family structure.

I was selfish. I was unfaithful. I was the man I now teach others not to be.

My first marriage ended in failure—not because marriage doesn't work, but because I didn't work. I didn't know how to lead. I didn't know how to love. I didn't know how to lay down my life for my wife and family the way Christ laid down His life for the church.

The Choice That Changed Everything

When Jesus found me and transformed my life, it changed everything. My lifestyle, my priorities, my commitment—all of it radically shifted. My first marriage couldn't survive my commitment to Christ. Not everyone in my life chose to walk that path with me.

I found myself raising my young son and daughter alone when their mother chose a different direction. Even as a new believer, broken and learning what it meant to follow Christ, God wouldn't let me abandon my children.

I made a decision that would define the rest of my life: I would be both mother and father if I had to. Working full-time. Coming home to cook, clean, help with homework. Being mom and dad. Fighting exhaustion. Fighting loneliness. Fighting the voices that said it was too hard.

Those years as a single father, learning to follow Jesus while parenting alone, were some of the hardest of my life. But they taught me something powerful: Faithfulness doesn't depend on circumstances. You can be hurting and still choose responsibility. You can be learning how to be a Christian man and still refuse to fail your children.

That choice—to stay when it would have been easier to leave—prepared me for everything God would do next. Because you can't rebuild what you won't take responsibility for.

God Rebuilt My Life

As I walked with Christ through those difficult years of single parenting, He didn't just sustain me—He completely transformed me.He taught me what covenant means. He taught me what it means to die to self.

He taught me what it means to be a man—not according to culture, not according to my feelings, but according to His Word.

God gave me a second chance at everything I had destroyed. Years later, He brought Valerie into my life—and this time, I knew what covenant meant. Forty years ago, Valerie and I stood before God and made a covenant—not a contract, not a partnership, but a sacred, unbreakable vow before the Lord.

My children got to witness something powerful: a father who stayed even when it was hard, and then a marriage built on God's foundation. They saw redemption in real time. They watched God rebuild what was broken.

And I want you to understand something: It hasn't been easy. There were nights when I didn't feel like staying. There were seasons when Valerie didn't feel like staying. But covenant doesn't depend on feelings. Covenant depends on faithfulness—and God honors faithfulness.

The Man I Am Today

Today, by God's grace, Valerie and I are living proof that His design works:

• 40 years of covenant marriage — still standing, still strong
• 5 children — all serving God, all in covenant relationships
• 14 grandchildren, 4 great-grandchildren — the generational blessing is flowing
• 49 years of faithful ministry — three churches pioneered, communities transformed

I'm not a man who's always had it together. I'm a man who knows what it means to be rebuilt by the grace of God. And if He rebuilt my life, He can rebuild yours.