A Marriage Building Project

My husband and I were just discussing that we are coming upon 30 years of marriage in April. I am so excited. He’s been really lucky to have me 30 years. But as I contemplate how we made it this far it is because we have something that this generation just does not hold in high regard. Love AND Commitment!!! When you know God has ordained the relationship you commit to it. Make sure it was God!!!!

We have committed from the very beginning to do certain things, and not to do certain things.

1. We made a commitment to always be faithful to one another. No matter how bad it gets or how sad we feel, we committed to only being with one another. I noticed that a lot of people will turn to someone outside of their marriage when they feel their needs are not being fulfilled. What we’ve always done was communicated what we needed to one another. We didn’t go outside of our marriage to find what was lacking. We taught one another what we needed as we grew and changed.

2. A commitment to grow with one another. I understand that when you’re married to someone for a very long time that person changes over and over again. So many people say they divorce because they grow apart, and you will unless you are determined to grow together. My husband is definitely not the man that I met and fell in love with back in 1992, but every version of him has been worth meeting, discovering, and understanding. It kind of gave me somebody new to fall in love with lol. Don’t tell me relationships with one person is boring. When you do it right and if that person is truly changing and evolving, you meet someone different probably about every 5 to 10years lol

3. We also made a commitment to one another that divorce is NOT an option. No matter what we face or what we go through (as long as it’s not adultery; cause that I’m not living with!!!)we face it together. We have to always make sure that we have each other‘s back and we never see one another as the enemy. Listen, if you ever let Satan, start causing you to see your spouse as your adversary, or that they’re against you; he has positioned you for destruction. Please remember longevity in relationships come from knowing who your real enemy is.

4. Always being willing to change. I have made a commitment that when my husband expresses to me that there is something in me that causes a problem in our connection, then I have to pivot. I’m not saying I’m re-creating myself for anyone because I’m not, but we have to be real about who we are, and who we are not. If our spouse is WILLING to share issues, and we become aware that what they tell us is true; then we need to be willing to make the necessary corrections. You can’t do that if you’re selfish and it’s all about you. You can only do that when you realize that your spouse is there to make you a better person. I hear people say I want someone who completes me. Well truth is, they’re going to completely help you to see your flaws and errors. They’re going to challenge you to become the best version of yourself. You get to chose your response.

5. Trust God with your heart, and theirs. I’ve made a commitment to trust God in every stage of my marriage. If you don’t have Christ Jesus at the Center it will crumble and the fall. I understand why people have marriage renewals because sometimes we forget about our commitments.

Let me tell you something young people. Every time it gets hard, remember your vows. When you don’t think the person that you’re looking at is worth the fight; go back in your mind to the person you fell in love with. Then ask God to show you who he sees. If you’re looking at them from your humanity, all you will see, is their flaws and shortcomings, but if you see them through God’s eyes, you see them as he created them, and that’s a beautiful thing.

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